Culture shock works both ways for a Malaysian in Germany
February 15, 2023
When I first moved from my native Malaysia to Germany 19 years ago, culture shock hit me almost immediately. Just about everything — from driving on the "wrong" side of the road to separating rubbish to adhering to quiet times — were all foreign to me.
Over time, and through much trial and error, I slowly began to adapt to life here. Learning the language and having a healthy sense of humor — even if sometimes dourness was all the reaction I got — helped ease my integration into life here.
And without realizing it, some things that I thought I'd never grow accustomed to have in fact grown on me, with people sometimes commenting that I'm now "eingedeutscht" (or Germanized).
On the other hand, there are some aspects of German life that I'll never quite come to grips with but must accept.
I recently returned to Malaysia after a four-year gap — partly caused by the global COVID lockdown — and I realized that in some situations I now deal with reverse culture shock.
1) You've got a fast car
One thing is certain: If I opt to return to Malaysia for good, I will require a refresher course in navigating the traffic there. Unlike in Germany where generally drivers keep to their lanes, use their indicator lights and dutifully do the "zipper merge" when necessary, in Malaysia I need to swivel my head 360° to take in traffic from all directions — especially motorbikes that dizzyingly weave in and out of traffic at will.
The general civility demonstrated by German drivers on the road here has dulled my reflexes somewhat. Except for some big car drivers making like bats out of hell on the Autobahn, I find driving in Germany a cake walk.
And speaking of walking, pedestrians are still pretty much at the bottom of the food chain in Malaysia. So, standing expectantly at a zebra crossing for cars to slow down for you doesn't always work. Any talk of "defensive driving" will most likely have you dismissed as a weakling. I should know. I was one of "those" drivers myself when I lived and worked in the capital, Kuala Lumpur.
For context though, Malaysia's big cities are often caught in interminable crawls during peak hours. Everyone is on edge and edging into every possible gap in traffic to get to their destinations faster. So, using emergency lanes or tailing ambulances — both no-no's in Germany — is a "ja" in Malaysia.
2) Where time is rubber
I once had a postcard with an African saying that went, "Westerners have watches, we have time." It could very well have been coined by a Malaysian. In fact, we have the concept of "rubber time" — implying that time, like rubber, can be stretched at will and therefore sticklers for punctuality need to take a chill pill.
However, having been raised by a father who was both extremely punctual and impatient, rubber time always niggled me.
In my early days as a reporter in Kuala Lumpur, one had to factor in at least a 30-minute delay before any official press event began. You eventually learn and arrive later too, thus keeping high blood pressure at bay.
Where keeping time is concerned, Germany wins hands down for me.
3) No appointment necessary
The relative ease with which one gets to see a medical practitioner in Malaysia is what makes retiring there almost a certainty for me. I understand that we're comparing two vastly different societies — an aging versus a yet-to-be-aging one.
But even after years of being in Germany and knowing that the health system is overstretched capacity-wise, I still cannot accept the fact that I'm offered appointments sometimes up to six months down the line when I'm in pain and unable to function — now!
And many general practitioners or GPs — the Malaysian equivalent of the German Hausarzt — offer 24-hour clinics where no appointment is necessary. You walk in when you're unwell, get a number, and get treated. My idea of heaven.
4) All is calm
My most unforgettable introduction to life in Germany happened about a month after we'd moved into an apartment in a multiparty house, and I learned about the hallowed "Ruhezeit" or "quiet time."
In Germany, the commonly observed quiet times are from 10 PM to 6 or 7 AM on weekdays and the entire day on Sundays and public holidays — rules may differ among the different states and even among landlords. During these time periods, it is verboten to operate loud household or gardening appliances, play loud music or have loud parties.
We had a frazzled neighbor come by and tell my husband that I was not to laugh too loudly from 8 PM onwards. Yes, you read right. My husband wryly responded that according to the house rules I could technically laugh out loud till 10 PM after which I'd proceed to cellar if need be.
Coming from a society where you're exposed to noise almost all the time, I do now appreciate the concept of quiet time.
However, my early exposure to noise became particularly advantageous when I started to have to work from home, all while workmen noisily went about their business around me.
On the whole though, I find that experiencing culture shock both ways can be a win-win in some instances. If anything, it makes us more tolerant of things we'd rather do differently.
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Edited by: Elizabeth Grenier