The man has done it all: he's been shot -- twice, he's had numerous extra-marital affairs, lived with a hateful alcoholic wife, run a super-rich Texan oil concern and financed a terrorist organization to start a war in the Middle East.
But all that is in the past for J.R. Ewing. Now the 74-year-old former tycoon is content to spend his remaining days as a world traveler.
How do we know this? Well, according to numerous press reports, the ultimate TV villain is due to show up in an episode of German cult soap "Lindenstrasse" as a customer of Helga Beimer, the show's matriarchal travel agent.
TV bad guy on the run in Germany?
Lindenstrasse sources are tight-lipped as to why J.R. is so far from "Dallas" and what he may be doing in Germany. Maybe he is fleeing an increasingly threatening paternity suit or perhaps avoiding indictment over his part in a war in a certain oil rich country.
Whatever the reason for J.R. being thousands of miles from his beloved South Fork ranch, Frau Beimer is certainly looking forward to serving his needs.
"I am very excited," Dallas fan Marie-Luise Marjan, who plays Helga Beimer, told the Bild tabloid. "For me, this is the perfect way to commemorate 20 years of Lindenstrasse."
Larry Hagman, who plays the dastardly J.R., will appear in a special anniversary episode of the German soap on Dec. 11. Reports that he'll be wearing a bullet-proof vest during his appearance have yet to be corroborated.