Not Tonight, Honey

2006 wasn't a good year for Gustav, a resident of Rico Gabel's ostrich farm near the Saxon city of Bautzen. The poor fellow was allegedly so scared by some pre-New Year's Eve festivities that he became temporarily indifferent to the opposite sex.

Gabel says that three teenage boys from the area set off fireworks near his farm between December 27 and 29, 2005. In the first half of 2006, the breeder complains, Gustav suffered from apathy, depression and had a distinct lack of interest in siring any further progeny.

And though Gustav regained his previous form in the second half of last year, Gabel remains hopping mad. He's suing the youths for 4,900 euros ($5500). That's 350 euros per chick for all the heirs that Gabel claims his prize cock would have normally produced during his fallow period.

A court is scheduled to hear the case on March 12.

Quiet, please, during reproduction

Unlike most birds, ostriches are polygamous, with males typically mating with a harem of two to five hens. The huge, flightless creatures issue loud cries and do strange skipping dances, flapping and puffing out their wings, when trying to attract the attention of potential mothers.

But although male ostriches make a lot of noise during their procreative rituals, they don't appreciate loud sounds when it comes down to the act itself. Zoologists say the skittish giants immediately break off their courtship at the smallest disruption.

But there is another aspect of ostrich reproduction that may work in favor of the defendants in the Bautzen case.

Female and male ostriches take turns incubating eggs in communal nests -- with males taking over the duty at night, when, due to their darker coloring, they are better concealed from potential predators.

So Gustav might not really have been impotent. Maybe he simply didn't want to get trapped into a life of staying at home and taking care of the kids.