Breaking barriers as a woman in India

I grew up in Mumbai, in the comfort of a home where my parents gave my brother and me equal opportunities and love. Till the age of 16, I didn't realize the level of privilege I had, particularly in exercising my opinions.

In 2008, when I was gearing up for high school, the financial crisis forced my parents to take a hard decision. They sent me to a school in the rural heartland of West Bengal as they couldn't afford the education of two children in a city.  

Ankita Mukhopadyay is based in DW's Studio in New Delhi

Overnight, my life changed, starting from my food to clothes to friends. I was no longer allowed to wear jeans or express my opinion, as that was considered inappropriate for a young girl. I was scrutinized for every move, called out for walking too fast, eating too slow and talking too much.  

After 16 years of existence, it dawned on me that the suppression of women was very pervasive in the Indian society and that the burden of society is unfairly placed on our shoulders. 

In Singur, my female classmates had lost their will to study after years of indoctrination that the only thing they could “achieve” was marriage. My friend, Rubiya, one day pointed out that she had a deadline. "I can do whatever I like till 18, but after that, I have to marry a man of my parents' choice as that's the right thing to do". 

Looking back, I realize how difficult it was to break those barriers and live a life of my choice. My experience in Singur opened my eyes to the inequality in Indian society. The challenges multiply immensely if you're a woman.  

In my school, the girls weren't even allowed to visit book fairs, while the boys were free to do anything. I remember asking a simple question to my school's administrator: "Why are girls denied something as basic as reading, when the boys can do whatever they want and get away with it?" Arjun sir was furious at me and told me to never enter the administrative office again. 

India is like a coin with two sides. One side is urban India, where women are given opportunities, but socially conditioned to conform to certain ideals. On the other side lies rural India, where women are seen as a burden on society, and hence denied their basic right to live. 

The toughest task I ever faced in my life was motivating myself to stay strong when the school and the society was consistently forcing me to accept my “inferior” status. Singur also opened my eyes to rampant gender discrimination within my family.  

All of a sudden, my grandfather's hatred for me made sense, my grandmother's affinity towards my brother more than me became visible. I noticed that my grandparents were happy that my parents were not 'wasting their resources' on me. I realized that I, too, had grown up with certain ideals which didn't believe in letting women achieve their true potential. 

In 2010, I left Singur to pursue my Bachelor’s degree in Delhi at one of India's top colleges. There, I felt like an anomaly, a girl from a village amid girls who had studied at India’s top schools. There were days when I thought I couldn't fit in and survive academically, as I wasn't as polished and as smart as my peers.  

What kept me going through all these years is the difference my life and choices made to the lives of women in the village I left behind. Today, my brothers are pushing for quality education for their daughters. It has become normal for women in my family to work. 

My story isn't unique. Countless women across India are fighting every single day to get their voices heard. Neither enclosed spaces nor the outside world is safe for us. The coronavirus pandemic has dampened social mobility for thousands of young girls, who were forced to leave school as they can't continue without their education online. 

I believe that Indian women should claim the spaces around them, in order to create opportunities for more women. And I believe this is slowly happening. It won't be long before we see powerful women breaking through stereotypes, barriers and glass ceilings to claim their rightful place in society.