Reindeer Revolt
December 22, 2006
Every self-respecting Christmas market tsar knows that a Christmas market without a reindeer is like college party without a keg: an utterly unimaginable and completely unacceptable failure.
That's why December is a stressful month for working-class reindeer in Germany. The hours are long, the pay -- miserable, the unions -- nonexistent. And Christmas markets just keep popping around the country like fast-growing, genetically enhanced mushrooms.
But Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and all of his colleagues -- Dasher, Dancer, Prancer Vixen & Co. -- are apparently getting sick and tired of playing dumb for spoiled children and their half-drunk parents. Reindeer can't stand the sweet scent of mulled wine and despise the fact that they've become a two-dimensional Disney fantasy. They see themselves as jocks of the forest, which is why they keep asking themselves: "What have we done to deserve this?"
One German reindeer -- originally called Rudolf by his employers at the Christmas market in the German city of Nuremberg -- decided to break out of the shackles of servitude. He outsmarted his guards earlier this week and ran off to the woods.
Freedom, at last
He's been since spotted roaming the woods on the city outskirts. All attempts to catch him so far have been futile.
"When people come closer to him, he just runs away," innkeeper Mathias Herd said.
If you're lucky to be born as a dog in Germany, Christmas time is a dream come true: a sausage fest that knows no ends.
The German pet market is booming. In 2005, Germans spent 791 million euros ($1 billion) on accessories for their home pets and almost 2.3 billion euros on pet food. Some pet stores have seen a 20-percent increase in sales during the Christmas shopping season. Dogs, too, are celebrating, it would seem.
Now, one shy reindeer from Nuremberg is standing up for his rights to spend the holidays without being forced to listen to mind-numbing Christmas carols over loudspeakers.
It's a small step for this Rudolf, but a giant step for his kind.