Jell-O Alarm

When passers-by saw some multi-colored goo quivering on a street-side lawn on Sunday, they immediately suspected something awful had happened. Was this the result of some radioactive or toxic accident? Or were they witnessing the start of a fiendish terrorist attack on the West, cooked up in a cave somewhere in the Hindu Kush?

They sounded the alarm and, minutes later, 12 firefighters drove up in four emergency rescue vehicles to save the day. They cordoned off the area and, wearing heavy-duty gas masks, began to examine what they described as "a gelatine-like, partly yellow, partly red, partly green mass of jelly" using state-of-the-art chemical and radiation detection equipment.

It then emerged that a wedding had been celebrated nearby the previous night. After interrogating the newlywed husband, authorities learned that the suspected weapon of mass destruction was likely just some left-over Jello that one of the wedding guests had disposed of on his way home.

"We couldn't just taste it," a fire-department spokesperson was quoted as saying. "We always have to assume the worse."

The newlywed husband agreed to clean up the mess, and no one was harmed in the incident. The present whereabouts of the Jell-O are unknown.