The Grinch may have been able to steal Christmas, but a Berlin man is convinced it's the Easter Bunny you really have to watch out for.
No doubt laying the eggs that will lead to the downfall of the human race
Not afraid to face the wrath of the world's Easter egg hunters, Karl-Friedrich Lentze filed charges of grievous bodily harm against the world-famous fluffy-tailed offender in Dresden this week.
The cute hopping around and fondness for lavender vests and wicker baskets is nothing more than a flimsy disguise for the bunny's true "sadistic" tendencies, said Lentze, a Berlin-based performance artist.
"Find this evil rabbit, grab him by his long, floppy ears and put him away before Easter," he begged the authorities.
Prosecutors on the look-out
The Easter Bunny will even use his own image to increase his addictive powers
The massive amounts of pastel-colored chocolate and marzipan eggs -- sometimes even filled with alcohol -- the bunny peddles to unsuspecting men, women and children demonstrate his ill-will toward the human race.
Emphasizing that this is no hare-brained idea, Lentze added that no one could estimate how many lives could have been saved the dire consequences of strokes, heart attacks and cases of obesity and diabetes could have been avoided if only this serial sweetener were taken off the streets.
"We will look into this complaint zealously and relentlessly," Dresden public prosecutor's office spokesperson Christian Avenarius told the Dresdner Morgenpost with a wink of the eye. "But even the Easter Bunny is presumed innocent."