Traditional German etiquette rules still relevant
Adolf Freiherr von Knigge, an 18th-century writer, is still considered Germany's leading authority on etiquette. His rules can help you prepare for your next glamorous event — like the German Press Ball on Friday.
Germany's etiquette authority: the 'Knigge'
When Adolf Freiherr von Knigge wrote "Über den Umgang mit Menschen" ("Practical Philosophy of Social Life") in 1788, he aimed to provide guidelines for social skills, and probably didn't expect to be associated with good table manners. Today, the name Knigge is synonymous with etiquette in Germany. Here are a few of his recommendations that could be still be useful for various social events.
Wear functional clothes
Getting dressed for a fancy ball can be stressful. Knigge offers a diplomatic solution: "Let your dress be neither above nor beneath you situation; not above nor beneath your fortune; not fantastical nor too gay, nor ostentatiously sumptuous, splendid and extravagant." It can, however, be expected that a few guests at the German Press Ball might not follow this rule.
Don't be a conversational narcissist
Once you've chosen your tux or gown, you can get ready to mingle. Knigge offers tips for small talk at the event: "Take care not to speak too much of yourself if your friends out of civility should turn the conversation upon your person, your publications and similar subjects."
Don't suck up to people
Knigge reminds us that slimy flatterers are just as inappropriate as conversational narcissists. He advises, for example: It is "extremely degrading for any man to act the mean part of a low flatterer, who by cringing adulation infatuates vain people in such a degree as to render them averse to hear any thing but praise."
Self-praise stinks
Knigge wouldn't approve of those who continuously pat themselves on the back and brag about their possessions. He recommends: "Speak also not too loudly of your prosperity, nor display too much splendor, wealth and genius. There are but few who will behold such a superiority without murmuring and envy."
Be truly funny
Don't learn jokes by heart, says Knigge: "A person that constantly hunts after witticisms and shows that he has studied to amuse the company, will please only for a short time and interest but a few. [...] True humor and genuine wit cannot be forced nor produced by art and mental toils; but they are felt like the presence of a celestial being, creating pleasure, congenial warmth and secret awe."
Don't gossip
Did you see that dress? If you want to badmouth, at least do it discreetly, advised Knigge in 1788: "If you want to talk to your friend about someone who's present at a social event, consider that whispering in the ear is indecent, and at least be cautious enough not to look at the person you're gossiping about while you're doing it."
Don't overpraise emerging talents
Illustrious guests have been invited to the German Press Ball on Friday. If you meet a creative young talent, Knigge advises to choose your words carefully: "Encourage the young artist by modest applause, but never flatter nor praise him immoderately, for this spoils most of them." Knigge wrote a whole chapter about dealing with scholars and artists in his 1788 manual.
A ball is not a reporters' scrum
At the German Press Ball, celebrities and politicians (like former Chancellor Helmut Kohl and his wife (left) expect to be able to enjoy their champagne without being aggressively interviewed by journalists. Knigge's advice on the matter is that you should avoid serious issues at such an event: "We must understand the art of conversing with our guests on such subjects only as give them pleasure."