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Postcard from Europe: Oracle celebrity Paul takes the plunge

Paul the octopus is retiring. Maybe he got cold tentacles after receiving death-threat e-mails by irate soccer fans. But, as Andy Valvur points out in this postcard, Paul's real career is only about to begin.

Paul the octopus

Paul knew all along that Spain would win the World Cup

There is an old American saying - quit while you're ahead! And that is indeed what Paul the octopus has done after his electrifying performance of picking eight winners during the World Cup football matches.

But what does a retired bookmaking octopus do? Will life at Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany be enough? Hardly.

Let's face it, once you're the toast of the tank it's hard to walk away. You get used to being invited to all the best aquarium parties and having eight squid supermodels cling to your every tentacle. And it isn't often that sharks, who would never think twice about making you dinner, now want to buy you dinner. And though you love it, you can't sign enough autographs.

But you don't have to worry about Paul, his people...oh yeah...he has people now...are busy capitalizing on his fame.

According to Deadline Hollywood, Paul sold a book about his life to Random House. And no sooner was his ink dry... than Universal Studios snapped up the movie rights. But Hollywood being Hollywood, there are, of course, complications. Paul, naturally, wants to play himself in the movie, but Universal wants Brad Pitt. The lawyers are talking.

Andy Valvur

Andy Valvur predicts a rosy future for Paul

Rolling Stone magazine said Paul was spotted being carried into Abbey Road Studios in London the other day where unnamed sources said he is recording a hip-hop version of the Beatles classic Octopus's Garden with Ringo Starr, Jay-Z, Eminem and Beyonce.

News of the World has a report, which has been vehemently denied by Paul's PR reps, that he is going to establish an octopus breeding farm in Kentucky called "Octopussy."

Next, Women's Wear Daily reports that Puff Daddy's clothing company Sean Jean has contracted Paul to design a line of hip-hop casual wear called "Sucka."

And that is just his first week in "retirement."

So...no, you don't have to worry about Paul the octopus. His career is just starting. And I have a feeling that it will be just a matter of time before his name turns up on one of those stolen CD's from a Swiss bank.

Author: Andy Valvur

Editor: Neil King

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