The larger the pension, the longer the life. That's the finding of a new study by the Max Planck Institute, which researched whether a bigger nest egg meant more candles on the birthday cake.
Being well-endowed has its benefits
Sayings like "it's quality, not quantity" have been uttered to millions of insecure men regarding the size of their most prized asset. Size is secondary, they've been told, when it comes to pleasing their partner in the sack.
But on the subject of another prized asset, a man's pension plan, the bigger the better. And that's not just so he can retire in the South of France or finally buy that Lamborghini he's always wanted. No, a bigger pension adds years onto your life.
Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock conducted an extensive study on pension size and life expectancy, and confirmed a direct causal link. They found that a 65-year-old today with a large pension has a life expectancy of up to five years longer than a retiree who lived on a modest retirement income.
"This long-suspected linear correlation has for the first time in Germany been backed up by extensive data," said Rembrandt Scholz, the author of the study.
"We can proceed on the assumption that people with higher incomes have a better education and have better diets, which will extend the lifespan." On the bright side, at least with the pension plan, a man has some control over its size. When it comes to his manhood, well, he has to live with what he was born with.