10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

Ubiquify: listen to music that's here, there … and everywhere

Wireless or Bluetooth headphones are great. No longer am I snapping cables on supermarket trolleys. But wireless cans don't last forever. Have you noticed how it's impossible to replace the battery? And with all the extra technology they require, some are huge. So why not implant the technology directly into the ear canal instead? Imagine: the music is simply there. Product type: chips, sensors.

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

HoverCase: the self-hovering suitcase that checks itself in

Wheels are nice until they snap off in baggage-reclaim, or get snagged on cobbled streets. The HoverCase has no wheels, yet follows you like an obedient dog. At airports, it will self-hover to check-in, moving with all the other HoverCases in lanes of neat, uncongested traffic. And security will love it too - the HoverCase will be fully trackable. Product type: case, hover tech, any color.

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

HandsOn: personalized shower hands to wash your hair

Feeling sleepy and too tired to wash your hair? Well, the next time you take a shower, let HandsOn ... get hands on. HandsOn is your personalized pair of hands that will massage your head and hair as you wake up or get busy washing the rest of your body. This one comes with a nod and thanks to "The Thing" of The Addams Family. Product type: robotics, sensors, shampoo. Concept: @CharlottaLomas

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

SeekNDestroy: the pill that proves one size fits all

There's a lot of talk about personalized medicine - the idea that diagnostics and treatments can be tailor-made to suit each patient. But even such an individualized approach seems laborious and time consuming. I want a pill that will act without my even knowing it. Pop the pill once a day, let it move around my body as it sees fit, zapping whichever viruses arise. Product type: pill, by mouth.

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

EyeLie: lie-detecting eyewear for home and away

This is the age of all-seeing, all-knowing technology. Yet it's getting harder to know who you can trust. With EyeLie, smart technology analyzes every word you hear, read or utter. It detects lies and truths, giving you a visual reading of "true" or "false." Use with existing devices or natively. Logs results in your contacts. Product type: glasses, lenses, implants. Concept: Gabriel Borrud

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

AntiGrav: sartorial attire for all your anti-gravitational needs

Isn't gravity such a drag? It's a bad joke, I know. But it is. A drag, I mean. Wouldn't you rather slip on a suit, jeans and hoodie, or some other flash gear and float about town? You could even float alongside your HoverCase in lanes of neat, uncongested traffic. You could program a route, or simply hang. Concept: @Captainkeeken

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

StraightTalking: speak foreign languages instantaneously

Travel and tourism are exploding industries. The number of worldwide "tourist arrivals" has doubled since 1995 - it's expected to reach 1.8 billion by 2030. But this doesn't correlate with foreign language uptake. We tend to defer to English or hand signals. With StraightTalking, you'll speak the local lingo as soon as you land. Product type: chip, magnetic mind-control. Concept: @JudithHartl

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

WellRead: how to know everything now!

eBooks are so yester-year! When I was growing up, my parents bought a book called "How to become ridiculously well-read in one evening." Sadly, I never got around to reading it. And now I think: what if I no longer had to read anything at all but could still experience fiction and non-fiction as I do today, with all the thoughts and annotations they inspire? Product type: chip, serum, WiFi.

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

Faceify: ready-to-wear removable faces

Fed-up with ever-changing fashions? Fed up plucking your eyebrows one day and then painting a fat mono-brow on the next? With Faceify, you can pick and choose a new face to suit any occasion. Makeup masks made from dermatologically-tested, sustainable materials. At the end of the day, simply peel it off. No mess, no fuss! Product type: synthetic skins. Concept: @CharlottaLomas

10 crazy inventions you never thought you'd see (and probably never will)

PurePants: self-washing underpants

Once I knew a girl who never changed her jeans - she said they cleaned themselves. I never knew whether to believe her (see: EyeLie), but the memory is what inspired PurePants. By weaving self-replenishing detergent into cotton, which reacts with urine, I've developed the world's first self-washing underpants. Can be scaled-up to socks and vests. Product type: cotton, chemicals, sensors.

Author: Inventions: Zulfikar Abbany (except where noted)